Note: This review spoils parts of the game. Narcissu 1 (and it’s expansion, the second side) are free to play on Steam so check them out before you read this. So far I only have played the first side of Narcissu, but I just had to leave my thoughts about it somewhere.
“But we have no future…”
Writing about Narcissu confronts me with one of the hardest challenges a critic has to face. How do you write about the beautiful and visceral experiences art can give us without making them stale and analytical? More importantly, how do you write about a game that confronts a certain topic on such a personal level when you yourself have never encountered this topic in the real world?
Narcissu is a game about two young people with no future and no dreams. Both of them find themselves on death’s door, encountering each other in a hospice in Japan. Not wanting to die in the sterile confines of the hospital or at home with the fake smiles of their families, they make a spur of the moment decision to steal a car and simply drive away. During the several days of their roadtrip they not only get closer to each other but one of them slowly creeps closer to death as time goes on. After all it was her second stay in the hospice and as per her words no one comes back for a third time. The end of Narcissu which can be reached after only a couple of hours is as expected as tragic and while I did not cry at it, it filled me with a sense of bitter sweetness.
So how do I write about a story of two terminally ill people that coincidentally are right around my age? I could of course simply review the elements of the game. After all it can be said that it was released in 2007 by developer stage-nana. It is a kinetic novel, meaning it features drawn backgrounds, characters and wonderful music such as most visual novels but without any choices the player can make themselves. We are figuratively and literally just in it for the ride, if you may excuse my pun. I could write more detailed about how the music selection accentuates the drama and emotions in certain scenes (or how I am still listening to the Main OST while writing this review) or maybe even criticize how there is a noticeable lack of variation in the background drawings of the game.
But all of this seems to fundamentally fall into the pitfall I described in the beginning of this text. It simply breaks down an emotional experience into its technical parts deriving them of any impact or wonder. So what is the solution then? Ever since I started heavily consuming any kind of media criticism whether in the form of videos, text, audio or other experimental forms I have been drawn to critics that do not shy away from sharing their personal experiences in their reviews. While there is a merit to discussions that look at the historical, political and otherwise analytical elements of any given piece of art, what I find most endearing about art criticism of any kind is its ability to itself become a work of art. A wonderfully written piece about another person’s work can become a catalyst for sharing personal experiences, reflecting about the lives of the critic or their readers and I would be a liar if I would say I have not cried once or twice while watching a certain video essay (looking at you Jacob Geller).
What personal experiences lie hidden for me underneath the surface of Narcissu? Sumire, one of the characters in the game, is like me, 22 years old. But, I simply cannot relate to her. Living her whole life in hospitals, clinics and on stretchers her existence seems to be void of any hopes or dreams. I am just 22 years old and recently finished my first bachelor's degree in philosophy and am now on my way to get my second bachelor’s degree in comparative literature. In the last couple of months I have been dreaming about what I want to study as my master, what I want to work as, what kind of internships I am working at right now and how my whole life will turn out 10 or 20 years from now on. I myself fortunately never had to experience crippling illness or any medical condition that robs me from looking forward, keeping me tight in its grasp. While I am not always the healthiest in all regards I am blessed with the healthy body I have and the ability to go out and explore the world (even despite all the current restrictions and financial constraints). Right now I could simply stand up from writing this text and get a breath of fresh air around town. For the two characters of Narcissu who are confined to their white robes, armbands and walls of the hospital this freedom can only be achieved in a last resort road trip against all odds and rules. Their whole lives vanish as quickly as they had become in the first place and the only proof of their existence seems to be their last act of rebellion and a clumsily taken picture on a bridge, the vast sky behind them. All that remains of Sumire in the end is one of those pictures with a rare, never seen before smile.
I find myself rambling again, not knowing how to conclude or really even start this review (even though it has been going on for close to two pages now). Narcissu is a wonderful, little experience. It is a story of disease and suffering; of medication and adverse effects; of thoracotomy scars and cellular poisons; of the living who cannot help but to die and of the dying who cannot help but to live; of a resting place other than "on 7F" or "at home" as it is written on the steam store page.
As the game states its name comes from the flower called Narcissus which itself is derived from the mythological story of Narcissus and Echo, one a self absorbed pretty boy whose beauty draws him toward his own demise, the other a woman cursed to only repeat the last words she hears from others. In the end there is nothing left of her but her voice, ever repeating what others tell her, void of any dreams or own desires. Sumire seems to be the same in the beginning of Narcissu but during their trip through Japan ending at the Awaji island she regains the last bit of own agency she can, rebelling against the world that has cursed her and leaving a wonderfully imperfect little picture with a deviant smile.
That is it folks. I do not know what else I could write about this game without ruining the experience. Go out there and make memories. I hope you enjoyed this review and hopefully played the game yourself. What did you like or not like about Narcissu? Feel free to leave your thoughts about it in the comments.